Could you read the start of my book?

Well, your grammar and spelling seem fine. There's just a few minor errors. Your descriptive details are good, but you seem to spend a while describing unimportant things. You also seem to linger a little too long over certain details which draws the attention away from what's going on in the story. It slows down the pace. But overall, it was very good and I am eager to find out what happens next.